🗽 When the Family Calendar Talks Louder Than We Do

It’s strange how normal it’s become for a fridge to know your kid’s soccer schedule before you do. And somehow, that doesn’t feel unusual anymore.

Between shared family calendars, reminders from smart speakers, and apps that ping us with who’s picking up who and when, it feels like we’ve never been more organized. But here’s something to think about: with all that structure and automation, are we slowly letting go of the small moments that actually connect us?

This isn’t about ditching your calendar or turning off your phone. It’s about noticing how much of our communication has shifted into tools and out of real conversations.

Not long ago, families would gather in the kitchen or talk during dinner to go over the week ahead. Someone might say, “Don’t forget Sarah’s recital on Thursday,” and even if it was a reminder, it was also a check-in. A small moment of connection.

Now? The recital is already on the shared calendar. No one needs to say anything. Everyone saw the invite.

And maybe that feels more efficient. But relationships aren’t built on efficiency. They’re built on those little exchanges, the offhand comments, the questions, the quick laughs or quiet sighs. We lose some of that when we let our devices speak for us.

It’s easy to send a text from the next room instead of walking over. We’ve all done it. Sometimes we’re tired, or we’re multitasking, or we just want to avoid a longer conversation. But over time, those choices can add up. Conversations get replaced with updates. Check-ins turn into checklists.

We still know what’s happening in each other’s lives. But we might stop knowing how anyone feels about any of it.

This isn’t a warning against technology. These tools help many families stay on track and reduce stress. That’s valuable. But they can’t replace the actual work of relationships: talking, listening, noticing what’s not said.

So here’s a question to consider:

Maybe you’ve already noticed the difference. Maybe not. Either way, it’s worth pausing and thinking about how often you talk about the things your phone already reminded everyone of.

Here’s something simple you can try: the next time you see something pop up on your shared calendar, a school event, a birthday, a family dinner, bring it up. Not as a reminder, but as a conversation starter. Ask how someone’s feeling about it. Share your own thoughts. Keep it human.

We don’t have to stop using our calendars, apps, or smart devices. But maybe we can use them with a little more care. Because they were meant to support our relationships, not take over the role of being in one.

So yes, check the calendar. But also check in, with words, not just alerts.

Thanks for reading.If this made you think of someone you haven’t talked to in a while, maybe don’t send a reminder. Just give them a call.